FC Barcelona News

La Pulga ~ The Messi-ah ~ D10S ~ Magisterial ~ Sempre Messi.

Last season, he was “PlayStation Messi”.  This past season, the media ran out of earth-bound superlatives for Barça’s #10, so then came descriptive phrases such as “from another planet” and “out of this world”, for there is nowhere else to go except to infinity and beyond.

When references to other worlds appear, you know that the person being talked about is in an elite echelon – towering above his peers – mere words unable to describe what he does, or how he makes us feel whenever he pulls off another Messi-esque move.

“Gaaaaaargh!!!!!!!!!! Nothing less than the equivalent of a foot-balling bird of paradise is this man, that defies the description, ‘man’. Genius of geniuses! He’s like Doctor Spock! He’s out of his Vulcan mind! Absolutely out of this world! Lionel! Look at the tuck away, look at the pace, he folds(?) this field up in warp speed, Doctor Spock, in warp speed. Maaagesterial Argentina! Magesteerial Leoo! Running like he’s got a food mixer down his shorts, and it set the beat.” ~ Ray Hudson, GolTV, Málaga vs. Barça, 22nd January, 2012.

If you haven’t yet heard Ray-Ray say that, do yourself a favour and listen here!

We watch the replays, shake our heads and still think that our eyes have fooled us, because there’s no way a human should be that co-ordinated to move body and mind together, to perform such outrageous manoeuvres as quickly as Messi can.

Therein lies his super-power strength – that ability to disengage his mind, go into the zone, and let his feet do the thinking. Only once the ball is in the net does the rest of him catch up. I’ve seen times when he almost shakes himself back to the present, as if not really knowing what he just did; so proud and pleased, as if he’s saying, “Did you see what just happened? Wow – we’re good!  Let’s celebrate with a team hug.”

“Although he may not be human, it’s good that Messi still thinks he is. Messi plays another sport.” ~ Javier Mascherano, Barça TV interview, 5th May 2012, after the 5-0 Espanyol (farewell to Pep) match at Camp Nou.

That zen-like zone, in which athletes revel and seemingly perform above human capability, can’t be trained or taught. There isn’t a lesson plan for it. You either have it or you don’t. It either switches on or it doesn’t.

When it doesn’t engage, super-human athletes become almost ordinary. A bad day at the office. They over-think; cannot instinctively find the right movements; find themselves out of position; out of synchronicity and everything seems to go wrong. We’ve seen glimpses of that in Messi this season during games, with his ambling around the pitch, the missed hook-ups with other team-mates, as well as his runs forward which turn to nothing as a defender deprives him of the ball, and he looks up in wide-eyed disbelief that it’s just not working right now.

He can’t be brilliant all the time. This is a team sport, after all.

Messi’s presence on the pitch is enough to keep 2 or 3 defenders occupied for almost the entire 90+ minutes, keeping him covered in case he does get the ball and goes into warp speed. That’s the immense advantage of having him in the match, even when it’s not gelling for him. Tactically, for a coach and team, having 2-3 defenders covering 1 player means that it gives space on the pitch in which the other strikers, (and attacking midfielders), can find their way to the net.

Other strikers.

This season, there were no “other strikers” for whatever reasons. Alexis’ and Villa’s injury report cards have been filled out on both sides. Pedro was also injured and didn’t recover form until the last few weeks of the season.

Lack of form, and injuries, also affected supporting mid-field players Cesc, Iniesta and Xavi. Afellay didn’t get to prove his worth because of a hamstring injury followed almost immediately by a more serious ACL injury. Thiago blew hot and cold. Keita and Busquets were solid, but hardly game-makers in the genre of Xavi and Iniesta.

Guardiola resorted to bringing in B-teamers Cuenca and Tello. Cuenca has perhaps adapted the best in supporting Messi and Alexis, while Tello has yet to find that element of his game. He’s so used to being the end-guy, scoring the goals, that he’ll shoot even though the better opportunity lies with an inside and better-positioned team-mate. He’s not a quick thinker in that regard.

The mid-field, so used to supporting their forwards, found themselves doing double duty in attack and in defence (lots more than usual) when the Barça back-line was often riddled with injury. The 3-man back-line formation also caused issues in some games when under pressure from their opponents, and forced Busquets to go back in support, leaving the midfield without a pivot. This often meant that the midfielders played deeper behind half-way, and the midfield link-up with the forwards wasn’t further up the pitch for the quick plays and combinations closer to the goal.

The back-line was not without its own issues. Abidal began to show signs of poor form and we were all devastated to find out why. Fontàs went out with an long-term ACL injury; Piqué frequently drew blood or was benched; Alves drew cards; Puyol’s body defied his mind; Adriano pulled muscles at whim and Maxwell left for Paris Saint-Germain.  Mascherano, (a mid-fielder until he arrived at the club), was still feeling his way into the CB role and committed some horrendous boo-boos (professional technical term) during his apprenticeship.

Despite all these set-backs, think about how close this team came to pulling off yet another hugely successful season.

4 trophies won, out of the 6 for which they have competed.

Granted they lost the big ones, but the crunch time for both of these trophies came at the end of a long season when the team simply ran out of gas. Before the end of the Liga season, Barça had played 5 more games than Real Madrid (UEFA Super Cup, Club World Cup x2, CdR Semifinals x2), plus endured all the stresses that travel puts on the body and mind – especially the trip to Japan.

“We’re running out of adjectives to describe him. I don’t know what to say anymore about Messi. It’s a pleasure and a privilege to play with him. We have the best player in the world playing alongside us. He bests himself in every game. He is a magnificent person and player.” ~ Pedro on Barça TV’s El Marcador programme, 7th March 2012, after the 7-1 win against Bayer Leverkusen at Camp Nou.

The past season was filled with a multitude of mishaps and misadventures, and bang in center-stage was Messi – the only constant presence this season in the Barça attack, while his team-mates ebbed and flowed around him. It wasn’t really the ideal environment in which to create a formidable attack partnership, nor even field a whole team of players who instinctively understood what to do, and when. With the lack of options, Messi was relied upon to do it all up front. He became the go-to guy for the attacks on goal, because there wasn’t really anyone else to do it.

Messidependencia? You bet.

However, because he is Messi, it wasn’t an ordinary event. He just didn’t score goals. This season, he has set new records after breaking virtually every existing scoring record within his reach at Club, European and World levels. He has scored in singles, braces, hat-tricks, pokers and even a five goal personal manita. He has won several individual trophies to go with those won with his team-mates.

With his 73 goals and 28 assists, he has directly contributed to 101 of the 190 official  goals scored by the team during the 2011/12 temporada.

Let’s take a look at the list of Messi’s records and honours that he’s achieved and received over the past season.

Ready?  Take a deep breath, because you’re going to need it.

Individual Records

Club (FC Barcelona)

~ The first player to score and assist in every trophy competition (6 in total) in one season.
~ The 2nd club player (after Pedro) to score in 6 official competitions in one season.
~ Leading Barça scorer in Spanish Supacopa with 8 goals.
~ Scored 35 La Liga home goals to set new club and Liga records.
~ With 14 La Liga hat-tricks, sets a new record surpassing César’s 13.
~ 2nd Barcelona player to win Pichichi twice. (Shares record with Quini).
~ Converted 10 penalties in La Liga to equal record set by Ronald Koeman (1989-1990).
~ Scored in 10 consecutive Liga games (in which he played) to equal Martin (1942/43) and Ronaldo (1996/97).
~ Equalled record set by Eto’o (2007-08) to score in 7 consecutive La Liga Away games.
~ At age 24, becomes La Liga’s youngest player to score 150 goals to set club and Liga records.
~ With 214 games, beats Cocu’s record (205 games) to become foreign player with most La Liga games for the club.
~ First player to score 8 hat-tricks in a single La Liga season.
~ 15th October 2011:  Surpasses Kubala’s 2nd place club record of 194 goals.  (With a brace vs. Racing Santander at Camp Nou.)
~ 29th October 2011:  Scores the club’s fastest La Liga hat-trick in 17 minutes. (vs. Mallorca at Camp Nou.)
~  19th February 2012:  Becomes the club’s youngest player to play 200 La Liga games.  (With 4 goals vs. Valencia at Camp Nou.)
~ 20th March 2012:  Becomes the club’s top competition scorer when he surpasses César Rodríguez Álvarez (232).  (vs. Granada at Camp Nou.)
~ 25th May 2012:  Holds the club’s goal scoring record (in competitions only) of 253 goals.
~ 25th May 2012:  Holds the club record for most goals scored in a single season – 73.

Spanish La Liga and Copa del Rey

~ Leading scorer in Spanish Supacopa competition with 8 goals. (Previously held by Raúl with 7 goals.)
~ 10th April 2012:  Breaks Isidro Lángara Galarraga’s 78 year old record (60 goals during 1933–34), to become Spain’s top scorer in one season. (vs. Getafe at Camp Nou.)
~ Marca’s Pichichi Winner with 50 Liga goals.
~ Top La Liga Goal Scorer (50) in 2011/2012 season.
~ First player to score 50 La Liga goals in a single season, breaking Ronaldo’s 2010/2011 record of 40 goals.
~ Set a new record for La Liga goals scored in home games – 35 in the season.
~ Second player (after Hugo Sánchez) to score 35+ goals in all competitions for 4 consecutive seasons.
~ At age 24, becomes La Liga’s youngest player to score 150 goals.
~ First player to score 8 hat-tricks in a single season.
~ 25th May 2012:  Finishes season with 53 goals scored in La Liga (50) and Copa del Rey (3).

UEFA Champions League

~ All-time Top CL Scorer with 14 goals.  (He shares the highest score with AC Milan’s José Altafini who scored 14 in 1962/63).
~ Top CL scorer for the past 4 years, and has set a new record for consecutive seasons at the top.  (He previously shared the record of 3 consecutive years with Gerd Müller [1973, 74, 75] and Jean-Perre Papin [1990, 91, 92].)
~ 7th March 2012:  Becomes the first player in CL to score 5 goals in one match.  (vs. Bayer Leverkusen at Camp Nou.)
~ The youngest player to pass the 50 goal mark in CL history.
~ Top scorer in the CL knockout stage with 26 goals.  (Previous record of 18 goals was jointly held by Raúl and Shevchenko.)
~ Scores his 2nd and 3rd CL hat-tricks to share record (with Filippo Inzaghi and Michael Owen) for highest total of CL hat-tricks.
~ 4th player (follows Jari Litmanen, Hernán Crespo and Thierry Henry) to score in 7 Away games in a row.

Europe

Awarded during this season, for last season’s performance
~ 25th August 2011:  2011 UEFA Best Player in Europe.

This Season
~ 2nd May 2012:  Breaks Gerd Müller’s 39 year old record (67 goals set in 1972/73) to become Europe’s leading goal-scorer in one season. (A hat-trick vs. Málaga at Camp Nou.)
~ 5th May 2012: His 2nd match goal surpasses Dudu Georgescu’s 35 year record (47 league goals for Dinamo Bucharest in the 1976/77 Romanian champs), to become the European Top League scorer in one season, with a total of 50 goals. (4 goals scored vs. Espanyol at Camp Nou.)
~ 25th May 2012:  Scores his 73rd goal for a new European record in one season. (Copa del Rey Final vs. Athletic Bilbao.)
~ European Golden Shoe with 50 goals. (His 2nd Golden Shoe Trophy.)
~ First player to achieve 100 points in the European Golden Shoe. (50 goals x Factor 2 for top leagues weighting.)

FIFA Club World Cup

~ December 2011:  Man of the Match in Final. (vs. Santos FC.)
~ December 2011:  Golden Ball Trophy. (2 goals scored.)

World Stage

Awarded during this season, for last season’s performance
~ 9th January 2012:  2011 FIFA Ballon D’Or for World Player of the Year.

This Season
~ With his 3rd consecutive Ballon D’Or, he became one of only 2 players to have won it 3 times in a row.  (The other player is Michel Platini, and he won in the era when only European players were eligible for the award.)
~ 4th player to win 3 Ballons D’Or. (after Johan Cruyff, Michel Platini and Marco van Basten.)
~ 5th May 2012:  A new World record of 72 goals in a 1st division season by breaking Archie Stark’s (Bethlehem Steel Club) 85 year old tally of 70 goals which Stark set in the American Soccer League in the 1924/25 season.  (A poker bag vs. Espanyol at Camp Nou.)
~ 25th May 2012:  A new World Record of 73 goals in a first division season. (1 goal scored vs. Athletic Bilbao in Copa del Rey Final.)

Personal Bests and Distinctions (Other than those mentioned above)

~ 1st November 2011:  Scored his 200th  goal for FC Barcelona. (A hat-trick vs. Viktoria Plze? in Champions League.)
~  26th December 2011:  French publication, L’Équipe, named Messi “2011 Champion of Champions”, beating tennis #1 Novak Djokovic and Formula 1 champion Sebastian Vettel.  Messi became only the 5^th football player to win the award, and the first to win it out of a World Cup Year.
~ Appeared in Time Magazine’s 100 Top Influential People List.
~ Time Magazine also named Messi as one of the 32 candidates for this year’s “Person of the Year Award”.
~ Played more matches (60 in total) than in any of his previous seasons.
~ A new personal record of 28 assists in one season. (This would have been 38 if awarded according to the Wikipedia definition of an assist.)
~ Scored in 6 consecutive home games (twice over the season) to better his previous record of 5 games in a row.
~ 5th May 2012:  Scores his 250th goal for FC Barcelona.  (A poker bag vs. Espanyol at Camp Nou.)

Team Honours

~ 17th August 2011:  Spanish Supacopa Trophy. (vs. Real Madrid.)
~ 26th August 2011:  UEFA Super Cup Trophy. (vs. FC Porto.)
~ 18th December 2011:  FIFA Club World Cup Trophy. (vs. Santos FC.)
~ 25th May 2012:  Copa del Rey Trophy. (vs. Athletic Bilbao.)
~ Semi-final Stage of UEFA Champions League.
~ 2nd Place in Spanish La Liga.

I’ve prepared some PDF documents of Messi’s achievements. You can download them from these links:

Messi_2011_2012_Statistics_Summary – a breakdown of Minutes and Games played, Goals and Assists by Competition, as well as analysing Home and Away Goals and Assists and how he scored them (singles, braces, hat-tricks etc).

Messi_2011_2012_GameByGameAnalysis – a Game-by-Game breakdown of Messi’s Goals, Assists (and to whom), and Minutes Played per Game.

Messi_Achievements_2011_2012 – A List of Messi’s Achievements and Records for the 2011-2012 Season.

Will this be enough for Messi to have won his 4th Ballon D’Or?  If he doesn’t, then there’s something very wrong with the voting system, or the quality and education of the voters.

Detractors opine that his goals were “meaningless”. ¿Por qué?  You cannot be serious.

Look at all those new records which now have the name “Lionel Messi” beside them. Digest how many long-standing records have been shattered by this 24 year old, in what has been deemed a less than successful year for an FC Barcelona team which did not succeed in winning La Liga for the 4th time in a row, or Champions League for the 2nd consecutive year.

How preposterous and ridiculous, is it, to expect that this team would keep winning and that they (Messi included) have failed because of a couple of lost trophies – in just one season? Now think of the Arsenal fans who have never given up on their team which last won a trophy 7 seasons ago. Haven’t we been blessed, by comparison?

When the world’s football managers and captains place their votes for the World’s Best Player, I trust that they will do their homework and look for a list of achievements that each player has attained over the season.

The Ballon D’Or is an individual award for the player who has played the best throughout the past season, and Messi’s record-breaking statistics have been out of this world.

With a healthy team around him, those efforts could perhaps be reflected in a couple more pieces of silverware which, for some reason, would make his accomplishments so much more significant and legitimate in the eyes of some people: people who cannot fathom how much this guy has achieved over the past 9 months, and how Messi responded to his club’s call when he was most needed.

Should Messi not capture his 4th Ballon D’Or, I’d suggest that he goes on to new challenges for the next season, for there are other records to break.

For starters, he hasn’t yet won the Zamora Trophy.

Music. When it comes right down to it, the only real parallel that can be drawn with FC Barcelona is music. For four years, this club, under its coach Pep Guardiola, made music. I don’t want to go into the litany of titles, successes, records. Been there, done that. I want to talk about the creative delight of this club of ours, and the magic that it worked under its bandleader.

You get to thinking about music, and you start to wonder about types of tuneage. Classical is too rigid, even in its most modern, fearless iterations. It’s still a collection of notes on a page that you play until there are no more notes. Rock ‘n’ roll is amazing, but we need something with more virtuosity. Yes, there are virtuoso rock players, but too often their music is soulless. Blues? Nope. Again, great music, but too often simplistic and formulaic, even at its highest levels, unfortunately.

Jazz …. yeah. It’s music that has a structure, but one in which its players are free to deviate from in the solo setting, even as the band takes flight, coming back together to re-state the tune’s melody, revel in its syncopated delights. Jazz is it, the only music that, to me, encapsulates what the eye sees as our club does its thing on the pitch.

With this in mind, we’re going to take the starting XI and a few key alternate players, and figure out what jazz musicians they would be. The first few will have videos here, with links for the rest. I hope that jazzheads out there will come up with their own performer-player matches. Now, let’s have some fun:

Pep Guardiola: Count Basie. As a composer, Basie went the great Duke Ellington one better. His exploration of rhythm, pace, meter and use of the big band redefined the genre in a way that made him (prior to his shuckin’ and jivin’ days), a new style of big band leader. Because Basie’s bands were so much more than glorified dance ensembles — they were hard-driving, creative jazz ensembles. The below clip is from 1950. The jazz is straight, but it isn’t. The rhythm is jumping, with chord structures that show off the music’s roots in the blues. Simple but adventurous, like the tactical notions of the man who created a team for the ages. Everybody knows exactly what to do, where to be. It’s the whole that is irresistible.

Messi: Cecil Taylor. Innately physical, robustly so, with no seeming regard for how anything was done before, even as he uses traditional jazz structure to present his music. It isn’t that difficult to see Taylor play, hear his music and think of Messi. Taylor was educated at the very traditional Juilliard, knowledge that, like Messi’s Masia training, allowed him to have the knowledge base from which to depart from the structure. What makes Taylor so amazing is the way that he, and only he, puts notes together. Watch a mazy, crazy Messi run in which the defense is absolutely certain that it knows what is going to happen next, then is confounded by a moment of absolute genius. Taylor is the freest of free jazz players, as Messi is an unfettered football genius.

Xavi: Art Blakey. Blakey is renowned for being a drummer bandleader that often didn’t take a solo, preferring to lead from the back, with a Stonehenge-like sense of rhythm and timing. And he made everybody around him great, calming showboating soloists with a mighty tom-tom thwack, buttressing and augmenting the quality of musicians from Wayne Shorter to Wynton Marsalis. It was difficult to understand how amazing Blakey was, just as it is sometimes difficult (or was for a while, until he became too obvious to ignore) to understand how amazing Xavi is. “He just makes these simple little passes,” just as Blakey drops in exquisite fills, or explodes into life at the precise moment that a song begins to lag rhythmically.

Iniesta: Thelonious Monk. What Monk did made sense to somebody, maybe not even Monk. He created a new language for jazz piano, aggressively using both right and left hands in a revolutionary way. Pianists often favor a hand or more traditionally, use one for rhythm and the other for solo flights of fancy. Monk’s compositions relied upon blocky, almost child-like approaches to the instrument, herky-jerky, up-and-back structures that almost sound like he’s creating a song as he goes along. Witness Iniesta, shuffling along the baseline, playing with a defender’s rhythm before sliding past him with a completely improvised move. Footballers can do what Iniesta does, as jazz pianists can do what Monk did — after seeing the initial moment of creation. But the artist has moved on.

David Villa: Lee Morgan. Stylish, straight and to the point, Morgan’s playing was known for its beautiful melody and unerring sense of style. That was, however, coupled with a virtuosity that sneaked up on you. Morgan wasn’t fond of stratospheric runs that ascended the register, or blizzards of notes to show how fleet his fingers were. As with Villa and his uncanny sense of a match’s rhythm and pace, Morgan was all about the whole song rather than a soloist’s individualism. Even as bandleader, he was in perfect tune with the rest of the ensemble. You’d never catch him running off on a John Coltrane-esque flight of solo fancy. Watch how Villa keeps an eye on the man with the ball, mirroring his moves, sliding up and back, his move a moment of logic rather than logic-defying, a la Messi.

Alexis Sanchez: Johnny Griffin. Dynamic muscularity characterized Griffin’s playing, along with a seeming inability to sit still. Detractors said that Griffin’s playing was “everywhere all at once,” dense clusters of notes that took what John Coltrane started with his modal progressions, but used them as a lever into bold, aggressive solos that were innately musical. Then all of a sudden, he would go someplace weird, even as the band, because of the structure of his work, knew exactly what he was doing. It’s no coincidence that Sanchez seems to already have formed a bond with his attack mates. His constant, dynamic motion nonetheless finds him in places that make perfect sense, at the ready for a teammate who doesn’t quite know how, but voila ….

Busquets: Dizzy Gillespie. Equally capable of leading his own band or perfectly echoing the motions of a genius bandmate, Gillespie was the man who catalyzed the movement, the collection of players that became bebop. His playing was smart, elegant and perfect. He was the best trumpeter on the planet in his day, but you rarely knew it from his playing as much as from the way that every song that he played, everything that he did, just made sense. His solos always set up the next player flawlessly, whether he was bandleader or genius accompanist, as he essentially is in this clip with the great Charlie Parker.

Valdes: Ray Brown. The bass player’s bass player, Brown had a reassuring, immense sound that always, always worked. His job was support — musical support that formed the backbone of every song, even if he never took a solo. He drives the tune as Valdes often drives play from the back, after reassuringly cradling the ball in his arms. Brown will thump and snap if the song calls for it. But usually, he’s smooth and controlled, always there even when he isn’t obviously there, at the service of the composition.

Alves: Jean-Michel Pilc. Pilc is a remarkable pianist, a virtuoso who is also a trickster, performer of music that will not sit still, rhythmically or intellectually. Pilc is here, Pilc is there, delicate notes when required, staccato flurries of tone clusters at other times or full-on free playing elbow bombs. He’s equally adept driving a song along, or filling in with his band in an ensemble approach of exquisite beauty but always, always, you get the humor in Pilc’s music, the simple joy of a person who is among the best in the world at what he does, letting it all hang out.

Pique: Ken Vandermark. You might not know Vandermark unless you’re a devotee of the Chicago school of free/improvised playing, or happen to frequent European jazz clubs, where you will often find Vandermark. This reedist began life hiding behind his charts, rigidly making his way through a song before growing in comfort and stature as a bandleader. Now, he’s often chartless, sensing what a song needs, driving it at times, laying in the cut at other times. But even as a bandleader and soloist, he always has the unit at heart, even when ambition makes him flub the occasional note or phrase.

Puyol: Peter Brotzmann. You have to be a 24-karat, stone-cold man to even think about taking the stage with Brotzmann, the most aggressive, brawny, tsunami of a saxophonist to ever take a jazz stage. His playing is all strength and stamina, feet planted, big slabs of sound emanating from his saxophone in a way that is omnipresent. He demands the absolute best from every band member, each and every time. If you don’t deliver, Brotzmann will simply blow over you like Puyol, charging hither and yon like a mop-topped fireman, making plays that teammates are either too timid to make, or not sufficiently committed to make.

Abidal: John Coltrane. Omnipresent, but in a much cooler, calmer way than Puyol’s kamikaze attack, Abidal plays with an almost indescribable beauty. Listen to how Coltrane stacks note upon note, cluster upon cluster, modal melodies that come at the listener in an almost dizzying array of sound. Coltrane’s playing wasn’t as much a solo as an extended meditation upon the melody, always cool, always there and always reassuring. Modern saxophonists hurl down gauntlets for the next soloist. Coltrane’s melodious edifices left off where the song and the next player needed. No more, no less.

Keita: Charlie Rouse. This reedist was best known as Monk’s saxophonist. A brilliant player in his own right, Rouse shone because he understood how to co-exist with genius, how to do exactly what the band needed to make Monk’s music make the most sense. Always calm, always with the right note, Rouse was a smooth, stylish accompanist who held down the band in a way that a rhythm section often did. When Monk was driving his bassist and drummer nuts, listen (if you go exploring) the way that Rouse becomes the rhythm. It’s brilliant, almost metronomic. Like Keita, as he echoes and augments what Xavi and/or Iniesta do.

Mascherano: Mike Reed. Quick. Identify the bandleader in this clip. Drummer Reed is a Chicago player who is involved in countless ensembles. He reads a song, and is capable of giving it exactly what it needs. In this case, it’s fills, dump truckloads of fills, augmenting the front men, getting their backs when they need a rhythmic goad, sliding in with a burst of rhythm that always, always keeps the song moving. Sonically, Reed has your back. The drums are another melody instrument, becoming part of the ensemble rather than a mere rhythm instrument. Reed does everything, as Mascherano will stop, tackle, rise and bring the ball forward on the attack, delivering it to a midfielder, then receding.

Pedro: Matthew Shipp. Wow. This cover of “Autumn Leaves,” by the colossal reedist David S. Ware, features Shipp, a pianist who also has a couple of other groups. But you almost have to listen through Ware’s brawn to get your mind around what Shipp is doing, which is essentially running around the basic melody, coming in as needed with an artful, dynamic cascade of notes before running away again, but never far. If you look, No. 17 is always there, always running, always finding his way to unoccupied spots in the melody that is Barca just as Shipp, a titan in his own right, does with Ware.

So. I wanted to focus on this year’s crew, before any additions or subtractions are made. And no, I don’t have everybody, such as the Killer Bs who made their way into the side. And I’d love to tell you that it was a struggle to come up with parallels for players and musicians, but with the exception of Pedro, who taxed the font a wee bit, the rest were, for me, as obvious as night and day. At any rate, have fun, and as usual, thanks for reading.

Silly Season is upon us. There are those who grab the bottle of Hector Pills and head for the hills, coming down only when the season starts and there are no more deals to be done.

Others of us absolutely LOVE this shit. Let’s do it. The crazier the better, because Silly Season isn’t the time for logic. Barca will be bundling Krkic, Cuenca, Fontas, Dos Santos and two chickens in a package for Griezmann? Show me the feathers. Let’s get real gone.

So your humble mods got to talking about what we would do with Our Summer Vacation, assuming we had control of the purse string and color copier cartridges. And this is more open, simply “What would you do to improve the club next season?” I started with banning bangs, courtesy of The Villa Experiment. Others had saner thoughts. Here we go:

Isaiah

Were I Barça’s coach, what would I do this offseason? I would curl up in a ball and cry for mommy. I’m sure of it. I would need a new pair of pants and—oh, you mean, what off-field moves would I make? Besides dodging paparazzi on my way to the book store to buy tactical guides, of course. Ah, the eternal silly season question.

First, I’d see how Xavi was feeling and try to convince him to skip the Euros. Maybe that’s selfish from a Spanish perspective because who doesn’t want Xavi romping all over Eastern European fields delighting crowds and passing well? Besides opponents, it’s definitely Barça. What’s to like about having your midfield metronome tacking miles of hard running onto his already over-worked ankles? Then I’d buy Messi a lollipop and a summer-long pass to Legoland.

As for the team, I’d make sure that Cuenca and Tello are aware of their less-than-starter role in the coming year, but also make sure to impress upon them that they’ll be instrumental in the multiple front fight. Then I’d buy a left back who can double as a CB. I don’t know who because I’m fairly hopeless at figuring out defenders—can we get Eric Abidal from 4 years ago? Or somehow an opposite foot clone of Dani Alves? We’ll have David Villa back, Afellay healthy, and a series of young guns moving their way up, so the front line is set; with Jonathan dos Santos coming up into the midfield, that line is good to go as well; and Fontas returning and Muniesa moving up will help us out in the back, but I would promote Montoya to be Alves’ official backup. That leaves the left still a bit shaky so someone could be brought in there. Muniesa can play there, but I’m not 100% convinced that he’s the guy for that job. I like him at CB a bit more despite some of his, er, missteps there. Then I’d buy Messi a popsicle and a summer-long pass to EuroDisney.

I’m a big fan of attacking LBs, but it makes sense to play a slightly more conservative player like Abidal if you’re going to be bombing down the right so much that there has to be pretty serious cover on that side. Then again, if were re-inverting the pyramid, we could get Gareth Bale or some other attack-minded fullback who also happens to play on the left. That’s the lefty Alves thing again.

And yet we’re probably going to let Keita waltz out the door and we might sell Adriano and we might spend eighty billion euros on some sort of winger/striker hybrid. These things I would not do. I like Keita. I like Adriano. They play hard and don’t complain; they bring technical quality to the side and they seem to get along with the other players. Yes, Keita is getting up there in age (he’s 32), but another year won’t kill him–or us. After extending Keita’s contract, I’d buy Messi an ice cream cone and a summer-long pass to…wherever Diego Maradona isn’t.

Oh and I’d also definitely buy Javi Martinez just to have him yell more crap at Cristiano Ronaldo.

nzm

Transfers

For once, I’d like to see Barça start the season with a full complement of 24-25 players – and fully fit players at that.

Incoming: definitely need an LB. Maybe they found a way to clone Abi when they replaced his liver, and the Abi-clone is in an accelerated growth program right now.

I’m really not sure that Bale is world class enough to fit into Barça – would definitely love to see David Alaba there (only 19 and plays with the maturity of 29, young, fit, and plays box-to-box), however I highly doubt that Bayern would let him go.

Failing that, Jordi Alba – but he mustn’t be allowed to fall into complacency mode, thinking that he’s made it and now he can relax. I saw the bad side to his play during the first leg of the Europa round to At. Madrid, and the guy was simply awful – think double Maxwell/Adriano combination of awful on their bad days, with some Chiggy thrown into it.

Outgoing: Adriano left the pitch against Espanyol looking as if he was saying thank you and goodbye to Camp Nou. In his after-match interview, he said that he’s like to stay his remaining 2 years. I would like to see him stay too – otherwise we’ll be putting even more stress on the left side of the pitch. Would not like to see Keita leave – at all. I would miss his Keitee-face and his skills and the extra dimension that he brings to the team’s play. Messi would definitely miss Keita, after already missing the Yaya and Abi cuddles after scoring. J

B-teamers already promoted into the first team: Fontas, Cuenca, and I’ll count Tello, and I’ll still include Thiago here because I don’t feel that he’s improved any since his promotion. If they get another season, this will be the one to prove that they have what it takes to stay at the club in the first team. If not, they’ll be sold or loaned out.

Like it or not, a lot of the B-teamers and younger La Masia grads will be getting time in the first team simply to increase their exposure on the world stage, so that their selling prices are increased. If La Masia is the farm house where the prime cattle is raised, the Camp Nou pitch becomes the auction ring where the thoroughbreds are paraded for sale.

B-teamers: with the exception of Montoya who is a dependable and traditional RB, I don’t see any of the B-teamers producing the quality that is mandatory for permanent selection into the first team. There is simply not the calibre nor the consistency of players of the likes of Messi, Puyol, VV, Xavi or Iniesta to be seen in the next generation, and that is what is needed for the first team. Any permanent promotions need to strengthen the team and add value, not drag it down, performance-wise. If there were shining stars, we’d see them standing head and shoulders above the rest of the B-team and in Liga Adelante, despite the performances of the other team members – or their coach. There isn’t the natural talent, nor the intelligence, in their play. I see a lot of lower-level Thiago-like players when I watch the B-team, and I’m not yet convinced that Thiago has what it takes to be a first team player at Barça. Maybe Tito will straighten him out.

I don’t yet consider Dongou to be a B-teamer and think that they are rushing him. The kid has enormous talent, but psychologically if he’s not ready it’s not going to do him any favours to give him an early promotion. I think that he has an exciting career ahead of him and he’s a perfect RW/center attack type player and very strong. But fielding him against the other much older and very physical players in the other Adelante teams is risking injury to him at a vital stage in his development. Give him another half season before promotion is what I’d do – and then I’d nurture him under Tito’s wing, not Eusebio’s.

Euros: I don’t want Xavi to play either – but I don’t think that anything will keep him away, barring a physical incapacity. It may be his last Euro.

It will be Puyol’s last NT outing, I’d wager – he’s already on record as saying that he will retire from the NT in 2012, after giving VdB another 2 years after the World Cup.

I’d like to see Iniesta retire from NT duty too. J

Busquets is playing the Euros AND the Olympics, so he’s not going to get much down-time in this “off-season”.

Tactics: I’m quietly excited about Tito taking over – best thing that could have happened in the wake of a Pep departure. I think that where Pep was stubborn about keeping his tactics pure and all about the Barça-way, I think that we’re about to see the players mixing it up a little. Tito is very strong on set pieces, so I expect to see a lot of innovation in that area. I also think that at times we’ll see a more physical running game when it’s required – like the Rayo game, but more organised when the team plays against better opponents. That was just a small taste of what’s possible.

I would love to see the wing play developed. The left has been neglected since Titi left, and Iniesta is NOT a winger. The right has only really been serviced by hybrid Alves, with Cuenca playing a more traditional role in recent times. But both Cuenca and Tello need more development and need to learn how to retain the ball on the edge of the box and not kill the flow of the plays by stopping with the ball in the expectation of beating the defence from a standing start. Messi can do that – not them. They need to be faster wingers pounding in the crosses. Their skill-sets (or lack of) are perfect examples of most of the B-team players right now – they do one thing well, not a whole lot of things which is what is required to get into the top teams in the world.

. Busquets is going to be the key. He’s going to have to learn to play without depending on others like Xavi and Iniesta, and to make decisions for himself – like we saw him do with the assist for Messi in the Espanyol game. He needs to bring the ball forward a lot more and make more decisive passes. If he’s going to fall over, he may as well do it in our penalty box and get the kick for the team, rather than down the other end of the pitch where, quite frankly, he’s a liability right now.

Masch may score his first goal in the next season too! ;.)

Cesc and Afellay will also be in for some specialised training. I think that Afellay will be drilled and utilised in an area in which he is already strong – the long shots on goal, and I don’t care what anyone says, Cesc is going to be groomed for a Xavi-like role. He has the intelligence, the ability and the speed, and the vision to see the opportunity. When he becomes more sure of his role, and he’s not tripping over or running into the 3 other midfielders on the pitch, Cesc will come into his own. He links really well with the forwards, and is actually better when he can run from midfield into the box to create a scoring op or the assist, rather than when he is standing flat-footed on the edge of the box, waiting for the pass.

I’ll stop now…

blitzen

I hate Silly Season. I really do. It brings out every know-it-all with a keyboard and a decent knowledge of Football Manager (not YOU guys, of course!). It makes me twitchy. So my contribution to this post will be short and sweet. And possibly a little silly.

I generally assume that the managers and coaches know better than I do when it comes to buying & selling players and making changes to the team for the next season. And I know that Pep has thoroughly discussed the team’s needs and development for next year with Tito, Zubi & Rosell. Tito is his own man and will have his own plans, but he is also very committed to the Guardiola style and the team as it is now. He is not about to start dismantling the team by selling off key players (Dani Alves) or bringing in new signings based on star power (Neymar). I don’t actually see a whole of changes happening this summer. With Villa and Afellay returned to health, it is almost like having two brand new signings.

Who’s leaving?

No one! NOOOOOO!!!!! *ahem* OK.

As our squad stands right now we have 19 fit players (including Villa because he is almost there and certainly will be by the beginning of next season) plus Fontas and Abidal. Fontas should be fit sometime this summer. Abidal we just don’t know about. Looking at the squad list, I just don’t see anyone leaving. Pinto has one more year on his contract, and I expect him to stay for that. He is too important a member of the dressing-room to sell off for the paltry sum we would get for him.

There have been the usual murmurs about Keita leaving. It’s certainly a possibility. At 32, he’s not getting any younger and may be looking for his last big contract at a club where he will get more playing time. His agent has said that they have not and will not talk to any other clubs until after the CdR final when they will meet with Tito to discuss his future. I believe that Tito will want Keita to stay. He brings things to the team that no one else does. He is a reliable midfield destroyer, shoots from outside the box, and has this season successfully learned to play as a DM to give Busquets some relief. He is also plays the Ethical Barometer position. It’s in his technical profile. The issue is whether Keita will be happy with the amount of playing time he would likely get. My personal opinion is that the lure of more money or playing time won’t be enough to make Keita want to uproot his family and leave the best team on the planet. We’ll just have to wait and see.

Adriano’s name has also been thrown around as a possibility to leave, but why? He has more than proven his importance to the team this year, and he doesn’t give off the vibes of a player who is unhappy and wants to go. He may very well have offers from other teams, but I think we should keep him. It would be very difficult to find another player that can fill in at so many different positions.

Then there is the Dani Alves thing. I don’t see it. He’s staying.

The only first-team player I can realistically see leaving this summer is Fontas. Even before his injury he was never fully integrated with the squad (although off the pitch it seems that Puyol has adopted him and brought him into the moc moc team). He was supposed to be the next Pique, but was never really that convincing on the field, looking slow and clumsy on the ball. We will have to see what Tito’s plans are, but I suspect he might be sent out on loan to get consistent playing time somewhere else. Or sold with a buyback option.

B Team promotions

As always, we should look for new players in our own house before looking elsewhere. The club has confirmed that Montoya, Muniesa, Bartra, and Jonathan Dos Santos will all be promoted at the end of the season, in accordance with their contracts. No word on Tello, but I think it would be hard to send him back to the B team now. The only other B team players I could see being promoted this year are Oier (likely) and Sergi Roberto (unlikely). The rest are either too young (Rafinha, Deulofeu) or just not good enough. Of course, just because a player is promoted, doesn’t mean he will actually play with the first team. Tito will most likely include them in the preseason and then make final decisions on their futures near the end of the summer.

Of the players definitely being promoted, Montoya is the big keeper. He has come up with some big performances when given the chance, and he looks ready to step up. He is a more defensive-minded version of Dani Alves, and can play on the left as well if needed. One thing he does lack is Dani’s killer instinct in going for the goal, but that can improve.

Tello should also be kept. He has proven his worth and earned his chance to be part of the first team. Hopefully he (and Cuenca) will know that the amount of playing time they get will have to be earned through hard work and good attitude in training.

Muniesa, Bartra & JDS: I really don’t know. I like them all as players and can see attributes in each of them that could make them world-class if developed properly. But right now I don’t they are quite at the level of the Barça first team. If Keita stays, there would really be no room for JDS in the midfield. I say he goes, probably on loan. I think we should keep one of the other two. My preference would be for Bartra because I think he is a better all-round player, or would be with the right coach (I’ll be bringing up the topic of Bartra again!). Muniesa probably leaves.

What do we need?

This is the part I hate. I’m not going to start throwing around a lot of names, because I honestly don’t watch enough of other leagues to have any in-depth knowledge of their players. I will just repeat what others are saying: Irrespective of Abidal’s health, we need to sign a LB. We have players who can play in that position, but we need someone permanent there. Jordi Alba is a good option if the price is right.

Graham Hunter has been saying for ages that negotiations with CB Thiago Silva are at an advanced stage. I don’t know if that’s true, but he seems very convinced of it. Others who watch him play more often will be better qualified to comment on that.

I would like to add another squad player in the Adriano mode. Someone who is capable of playing several positions as a winger/wingback/fullback, to give Tito different tactical options.

Lastly, do we need a big man up front? Oh, let’s not start that debate again!

Linda

What would you do this offseason?

1. Make sure the preseason is geared towards optimum fitness, not profit.

By deciding not to tour, the board have already made a step in the right direction. As a new, untried manager at this level, Tito needs all the support he can get, and one way to show that support is to make sure he has a good base to build on. The lessons of this past season re: what happens with no proper preseason should be kept in mind, especially since many of the squad will be at the Euros or the Olympics this time around.

2. Buy a defender.

Once again, I believe the lessons of the season just past should be absorbed. We were clearly a defender or two short – in part due to circumstances beyond our control, it’s true, but now we have the chance to change that. The terrible news of Puyol’s knee injury makes strengthening at the back even more important.

No doubt it’s difficult to find players who can play at the back for Barca, given the unique requirements of the role. Zubi and co. should be ready to splash the cash for the right person.

3. Reassure the players who are not being moved on of their place in the squad ASAP.

The inevitable consequence of failing to win one of the two big trophies on offer is a summer of speculation and unrest. It’s hard to tell what’s real and what’s manufactured at this point, and I would hate to see players unsettled for no reason other than the Spanish sports dailies needing to sell papers. The public and the media don’t necessarily need to be told what’s going on – discretion in transfer dealings is a virtue – but the players themselves should know that they have a place to come back to after the summer, if that is indeed the case.

4. Leave the football decisions to the football men.

Dmytro Chygrynskiy (and yes, I did have to look it up) aside, Guardiola’s status meant that he didn’t have to deal with much interference from the board when making decisions about the team. While Tito has nowhere near the same level of clout, he’s got a fair bit of credit stored up from his part in the successes of the past four years, and he has earned the right to try and do things his way. I don’t want to see the board trying to impose any decisions (or God forbid, players) on him.

5. Keep the faith.

In all my time as a Barca fan I have never seen the fanbase/media behave as rationally in response to large setbacks as they have this past month. Tito will probably need some time to get things going. It’s crucial that our new-found rationality continues while his team are trying to find their way. That means no absurd pronouncements, no institutional crises, no over-the-top transfer sagas. It means transmitting a message of patience.

Remember: we know that our way works.

Kxevin

In thinking about what I would do to our club, the short answer is “Not a lot.” The long answer isn’t much more complicated:

OVERALL

Stop messing about, traveling hither and yon to hoover up dollars. The all-European pre season is a very good start. It is also crucial that the club strives to, as much as possible, replicate the training camp of Guardiola’s first year. Yes, between Internationals, friendlies and other extraneous competitions, it’s very difficult to find free time for our players. But the start of last season canNOT be allowed to happen again. We saw the result this season, with the many injuries and out-of-form players. Tito Vilanova, if he does nothing else as coach, can’t let this happen again.

Reach an understanding with Messi. He can’t play every match. Simple as that. I know that he loves the game, eats, sleeps and drinks football, but I’d rather have an all-pitch, fully involved Messi than have to tell him to dog it on parts of the pitch, so that he can play every match without fatigue or injury. It means that at crucial parts of the match, we’re playing with 10 men, rather than 11.

Get flexible with player rotation. Part of what creates fatigue/injuries is lack of rotation. We have a problem in that we have the best or one of the best players in the world at almost every position. You can’t replace that. But you can adapt the system, using squad players against the teams that you are confident of beating. The same XI started too many matches this season, with the attendant fatigue/form/injury issues. You should be able to beat a relegation side with a midfield of Thiago/Keita/Afellay, frankly.

Shooting practice and emphasis. The same quality that made Samuel Eto’o the scoring machine that he was, also made him a pain in the ass to ultimately deal with: voracious, high-energy selfishness. And not selfishness in a bad way. He treated every chance like it was going to be his last. Yes, he missed some sitters late in his last season with us, for a variety of reasons, but when he got a chance, he was heart-attack serious about it. That quality isn’t evident in any of our attackers, including Messi. Vilanova has to make the players understand that scoring goals is about concentration and execution. There might be other chances, but there might not again be another chance as good as the one that was scuffed/spurned. This is an attitude. The first two Guardiola seasons, it wasn’t like that. Reading your own press reports will do that to you. And shoot the damn ball. Note the number of speculative shots that occurred in the treble season via Henry and Eto’o, shots that sometimes became goals as they were spilled by the keeper, or caromed somewhere that allowed the attack to be reset. Of late, we have been striving to pass the ball into the net, which doesn’t work all the time.

To hell with a Plan B. The incessant discussion of a Plan B wearies me so. Chelsea played the exact same way at the Camp Nou that they did at Stamford Bridge, and we could have buried them there, without a Plan B or big striker running around. Our Plan B is, and always will be finish your damned chances. If Messi isn’t going to play all the time, a traditional striker type might be nice to have on the cheap. But I also wouldn’t mind seeing how Keita does as that striker type. He has excellent strength, mobility, a good shot and is a fine header of the ball. Why not?

Stop acting like the system is broken. You can trace the club’s Liga and Champions League failure to, in effect, three or four goals. One in Chelsea changes that tie immensely. A shot instead of a chip at Villarreal, a better PK vs Sevilla and Chelsea and it’s a very different story. I can’t believe the panic and talk of wholesale change. The system is fine. It created chances, and almost withstood almost Biblical injury plagues to come thisclose to having a shot at the Triplete again. The system works.

ATTACK

Basically, we’re fine. This club had one pressing need this season: A player who would be good for 20+ goals per season. We had that player, until his shin went to hell. then ultimately failed. We can look as long as we want in the transfer market, but in terms of finding a player that fits our system better than David Villa, we won’t find one.

Integrate Tello and Cuenca into the first team. Then let’s see how they are. Based on what happens, a loan decision can be made with one or both of them. They are very different players, each one bringing a dimension to the attack. If one has to go on loan, it will almost certainly be Tello, who isn’t as developed a player as Cuenca, even as he is more dangerous in certain situations. His pace is also very difficult to argue with.

Get Pedro! back. Essentially, I would threaten to fine him if he tried to beat any player off the dribble. Ever. That isn’t his game. If you look at the glory seasons, compared to the Pedro of last season (excluding his injury), Pedro! was essentially point-and-shoot. He would run to a spot, get a ball and shoot. Or he would run into the box when somebody else shot, and capitalize on the ensuing chaos. He plays on the wing, but he isn’t a winger. To my view, Pedro! is more of a roving striker. Pedro is a winger who tries to beat defenders off the dribble, and runs around like a chicken with his head cut off. This doesn’t work.

Make a decision on Afellay. His talent is immense. His playing time will be minimal. He has skills as a winger, ball handler and attacker and is a unique player. The question is whether he is a unique player who will be happy with the playing time scraps that he will be getting from us next season. I am in favor of keeping him, as I think he does things that Cuenca/Tello can’t do. But if we keep him, we are going to have to actually use him, and integrate him into the side so that he isn’t Stranger in a Strange Land when he comes in. You could see him as part of an attacking trident that included Villa and Sanchez, or in midfield with Thiago for Copa matches and the like.

Make fitness a priority. I know that Villa and Fabregas have their own ways of doing things, but Villa had his little pooch for too long into the season, and Fabreagas visibly ran out of steam. The more tired he becomes, the more he disappears. Villa gets offside more. They have to be fit enough to run, run and run some more.

MIDFIELD

Xavi will be diminished. In part because he should be, but in part because age and injuries will take their toll. This, for me, makes the rumored sale of Keita a silly one. As Busquets becomes more evident in a metronomic role, you need that do-everything player filling in space in front of the defense. Keita is that player, who brings something very special to the club.

Figure out a role for Dos Santos, or get a player we actually CAN use. Dude has disappeared from the radar, in part because there really isn’t a consistent role for him on the club. If Afellay blossoms as he has the potential, then he becomes that “other guy,” platooning with Fabregas. Adding Busquets, Iniesta and Keita to that mix, you suddenly have a glut of talent.

DEFENSE

Buy a left back. Who it is, doesn’t matter, but we need a starting left back. I don’t believe that Adriano is that player, as valuable as he is. I don’t believe that this player needs to be expensive. Jordi Alba is the right price, the right profile and would fit the system. His height is a complexity for me and frankly, my preference would be an Abidal type. There are scads of them in Ligue 1. But given what has happened during the last matches, the Alba purchase (or an attacking LB like that) is looking increasingly likely. Euler and I noticed a change in the system, as Montoya was the defensive FB as Adriano charged forward to raise hell. I don’t believe the Alves rumors, but I do believe that if the right offer came along, we would sell him. He wasn’t the player that he is capable of being last season, a trend that I don’t see changing. It happens. But no matter what happens, whether Alves stays or not, we need a starting LB.

Make a center back decision. Puyol will be plenty back from his knee surgery, and he was in brilliant form the last segment of the season. But he isn’t getting any younger or more durable. Promotions have come in the form of Fontas and Muniesa, and both will be first team this season. Are they of sufficient quality to earn places on the bench, and start as need be? Good question. I know that nothing that I have seen from either one makes me believe that they are of starter quality. I just don’t see a Thiago Silva purchase happening. For the same money, I could see the more versatile Javi Martinez happening. But we need to essentially acquire three CBs (a starter-quality and two subs). If Fontas and Muniesa are the Copa/minnows players, a high-quality CB will have to be acquired, one who will also have to get accustomed to not playing as much as he did at whatever club he came from as I think that increasingly, Mascherano is going to become among the first choices on the defensive team sheet.

Or not. If I had to go to war with the exact roster (assuming promotions as well) that we have right now, I’d be okay with that. We have one hell of a football team. That Other Spanish Team had a majestic season to beat a clunky, inconsistent us. We’re still the best team in the world. Period.

Yes, there will be more, like from Euler, who will have his own, separate masterclass.

For now, you can all debate, call us crazy, or agree amd think that we’re geniuses. Either way, have fun.

This a guest post by Conor P. Williams. Many of you probably know his work already. If you don’t, you should. More info about him in his tagline at the bottom. Off we go.

With another knee operation this spring, Carles Puyol has reached that point where every knock prompts public murmuring about impending retirement. And who would blame them? Few 34-year old top-flight defenders can overcome annual cuts to their legs without eventually succumbing. At some point, age bends us all to its throne.

The debate will go on longer in this case, for Puyol has been a unique sort of player. The end could be months away —- or it could be years. Puyol’s been part of Barça’s core so long that he makes most club “mainstays” look like nomads.

The verb tenses get tender here —- what sort of defender is he? What sort of leader was he? What did he mean for FC Barcelona? Where would he play next season? Should he have a place in the starting XI? It may be unseemly to mourn a player before he is gone, but some things are better seen in a career’s flickering twilight. Once the light is fully out, retrospective takes over and casts shadows over things that were once obvious. We still have time to gather evidence to answer the most interesting questions: What makes Puyol so phenomenal? Why will Barça someday miss him so?

Start with what he’s NOT: Puyol’s teammate, Leo Messi, exemplifies a certain transitive property of athletic admiration: his fans love him because he loves to play. It’s almost impossible to see him dribble without suppressing laughter. Messi is simply nonsensically fun to watch. He is all joy and creativity and delight and spontaneity as he jinks through one defender and leaps over another. Messi is beautiful genius, superlative magic, and all the other terms that would be hyperbolic in any other instance. Forget “loves” — he simply lives to play.

If Messi is an on-field giggle, if Ronaldinho was live samba, Puyol is a square jaw. If Iniesta is one of Tolkein’s impossibly-precise, stunningly fast elven archers, Puyol is a Spartan hoplite. If Xavi is the brains of the operation, Puyol is the man on a mission. He is a determined yell — YOU SHALL NOT PASS — in human form; a man who would rather burst his lungs than permit an opponent’s incursion. Real Madrid’s Jorge Valdano put it this way: “Puyol must be the only player in the world who gets shot in the head and just stands there.”

Puyol, on the other hand, inspires no such language. It is not obvious that he loves the game, let alone playing it. His heart is on his sleeve, but has more parochial, particular concerns. Puyol loves the squad and the nation behind it. He loves the friction and combat of defending the team hearth. He loves the moments where the game descends from cleverness into the realm of a pure test of wills — who wants the match more?

I should admit that I have a dog in this fight. Years ago, when I was living in Barcelona and trying very hard to immerse myself into being a fully authentic FC Barcelona fan, I couldn’t help but idolize Puyol. He had none of Ronaldinho’s sultry gloss, nor was he one of the blaugrana’s vaunted tiki-taka midfielders. He wasn’t great with the ball at his feet — as much a sin at Barça then as it is now—and he had terrible hair (which happens to resemble mine). When my girlfriend visited me in Catalunya, she was a wee bit disappointed that I’d bought the jersey of “the ugliest guy on the team, except for Ronaldinho.”

But forget all that: it had to be Puyol. I loved his single-minded devotion. I loved the unassuming approach. I loved his toughness. There are faster players. There are craftier players. There are taller and stronger and younger players, but no one works harder. Anywhere. On a team of so many ineffably brilliant stars—nothing describes Messi or Xavi et al so much as their indescribability — Puyol has always been recognizably human. No fancy trickery proceeds from his feet. He makes sense. Nothing he does appears to threaten various laws of physics. Tough as he is, Puyol is recognizably human. While it was clear that I’d never sashay my way through a defense or flick a one-touch through ball to a cutting teammate, I could chase the hell out of the ball. I could sacrifice my body to block the ball. I could care that deeply.

Put another way, the formula for Puyol’s stardom is more accessible than his flashier teammates’: he is great because he works hard. It’s not obvious that he’s been blessed with unique athletic advantages (other than his coiffure). Middle-class folks like me can appreciate high-end scoring excellence up front, but we recognize something of ourselves in Puyol’s unflagging diligence.

As the indeterminate end draws nearer, it’s worth considering how Puyol is now more idiosyncratic in the squad than ever before. In Barca’s post-Eto’o iteration, his ferocious directness stands out amongst a team of touch-passing possession merchants. No other Barça player goes as hard after crosses into the box—because no other Barça player is quite as heedlessly committed. If you want a give-and-go replete with sexy backheel passes, talk to Xavi, Alvés, or Iniesta. If you want full-length, blood-curdling, caution-to-the-wind self-sacrifice, count on Carles.

Conor Williams is a freelance political writer who fancies himself an occasional sports journalist. Past work has been published by the Run of Play, Washington Post, and elsewhere. Find more at http://www.conorpwilliams.com or on Twitter: @conorpwilliams. Email him at: punditconor@gmail.com, especially if you’d like to pay him to write.

Here is your last lot of blitzen awards for the season. I hope you enjoy them, and thank you for all the positive feedback. This is definitely mes que un blog!

My Heart Exploded Award: This was one of the first blitzen awards ever given out, for Iniesta’s joyful leap into Messi’s arms during the CL second leg match against Arsenal in the 2010-2011 season. I had a similar reaction to Iniesta jumping onto Messi after his goal in the CdR final. Pure joy and happiness and no player deserves it more.

Waka Waka Award: Wasn’t it nice of Pedro to celebrate his second goal by flashing Pique’s 2-2 hand signs in honour of Shakira? How sweet.

MOTM Award: I really don’t want to single anyone out. You could tell from the first moment the team stepped on the pitch that they were determined not to let Pep’s last chance for a trophy slip from their grasp. No one was going to be responsible for losing this cup. If I have to pick, I will give it to Pedro, for the most improved player. He worked his little butt off and scored two gorgeous goals. This is the Pedro! we have been waiting for all season, and his excellent performance has even earned himself a callup to the Euros!

R E S P E C T Find Out What It Means To Me Award: What a lovely gesture for Puyol to borrow an Ikurrina (Basque flag) from someone in the crowd and take it on a victory lap along with the Catalan Senyera. It’s so nice to have a rival like Athletic Bilbao. The way the Basques and the Catalans respected each other on and off the field was…refreshing, no?

He Ain’t Fonti He’s My Brother Award: Puyol & Fontas switched shirts, I’m assuming at Puyi’s insistence. Because he’s just like that. He has kind of adopted Fontas, making sure he feels included despite his injury, taking him out with the moc moc crew. Exactly the sort of thing we have come to expect from our Capita.

John Terry Memorial Award For Sportsmanship: Speaking of which, I guess Puyol’s arms must just be tired from all the years of lifting trophies, as he insisted Xavi do the honours. Of course, Xavi being Xavi, he insisted right back, but finally bowed to his captain’s wishes before they could come to blows over it.

Copa Del Rey Abidal Award: And here it is:

El Caganer De Las Zonas Técnicas Award: I think we have found a new nickname for Bielsa.

Flavor Flav Memorial Timepiece for Superlative Swag: Pinto! For making customized SwaggaSunglasses for all the players and taking pics with all of them, even Xavi & Iniesta!

Job Well Done Award: This was a difficult season in many ways. Injuries, fatigue, pressure all took their toll. But Pep says this team played the best football they have since he took charge 4 years ago. They ended the season with 4 of the 6 trophies on offer, advanced to the semifinals of the Champion’s League, and came within striking distance of catching up to Real Madrid in the League. And they did all of this playing beautiful, technical, attacking football that was a joy to watch. All I can say is Thank you team, Thank you Pep, Thank you to all the technical, medical, and support staff. This team gives us so much, we can only be grateful for everything.

And a few bonus awards from yesterday’s charity futsal game. If you missed it, you should be very sad because it was a ton of fun for everyone involved.

Lionel Messi Award For Being Lionel Messi: Victor Valdes, who revised his jersey with the help of a bit of tape to read Messi 10, and proceeded to be a monster for both sides playing as a pivot.

Send In The Clown Award: Pique, for being the hammiest hamster that ever hammed it up (and scoring great goals in the process, I must add). He was clearly having the time of his life playing to the crowd. Here is a typical Pique moment.

Life Is A Cabaret Award: The Autonomous State of Catalunya, for proving that they are the world capital of cheesy song-and-dance numbers. Seriously, if they were allowed to compete in Eurovision, they would have it all sewn up!

Mes Que Un Goalkeeper Award: Let’s see, you all want a tall, mature player who is content to sit on the bench and come in and be our goalscoring Plan B? Look no further than Pinto! He scored a beauty today, charging out from his goal into the opposition’s box and putting it away with style! Done and done.